An Almost True Story About Emails

I loved him
the way a
woman loves
a man she
never touches
but writes 
emails to and
has tiny pictures
of him stuffed
in her wallet
and I would have
loved him even
more if I sat
outside his
bathroom and
heard him have
one of his secret
panic attacks that
he wrote to me
so much about
how his famous
loves 
only care
about 
fame and not
his 
insane fire that
held no lies and
burned so gently
into genius art

but I never sat
outside his bathroom
because he took his own
life three or four
months before
I knew that he was gone
and I received no replies
to my emails until
his brother told
me that he had
pulled the golden
trigger on his diamond
encrusted gun after
numerous midnights
crying alone on
different rooftops and

maybe I could have
loved him enough
for him to stay
but maybe we
would 
have betrayed
each other
 too
like all lovers eventually
do so maybe 
suicide
was the
best way.

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About RebeccaFionna

Poetess and Dragon goddess since 1992
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